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Dragon Ball Kai Licensed By FUNimation

Dragon Ball Kai, the shorter more interesting version of Dragon Ball Z, but also without the epic opening Head Cha-La, is going to be released this year.

WHY MUST THEY GIVE ME SO MANY DAMN OPTIONS! Seriously, 3 different versions released in the US so far. I was gonna start buying the Dragon Box releases, but now I might as well buy this one instead since it will be released on BluRay more than likely.

You know FUNimation, this idea of releasing multiple versions of a  series after everyone bought it already (almost all your recent BluRay releases) is started to piss me off. Just letting you know that.

as for DB Kai, it is a remastered into HD release with the fillers removed and the saturation increased to make it look better. The Japanese audio is also re-recorded. Not meant for the DB purist, but what the hell, I wasn’t one to begin with. May have seen all the DBZ episodes, but I grew quite bored during the “OH SHIT! HIS POWER LEVEL IS GROWING AGAIN SO I WILL STAND HERE STARING UNTIL HE CAN BEAT ME” (I’m looking at you Frieza). So maybe I will re-watch it like this.

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My Thoughts On Dragonball Evolution

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First, let’s address the acting. None of these actors lived up to their full potential here. The script was cheesy in a funny way, but, it was essentially a children’s movie. Everything was blown out of proportion, people over acted parts, and they basically made Yamcha sound like a total idiot. But, that’s why I liked it. I could laugh at the cheesiness of the film, even forgetting this was based on an anime and manga that many love. Though, it was weird having so many asian main characters, 2 white people, and 1 black guy. It felt awkward to me.

Special effects were… they were funny more than anything. They looked so out of place, though, I guess if you are 10 and still think that Nicktoons have great artwork, you won’t notice it. Seriously, it was like someone tried doing Who Framed Roger Rabbit with CG instead of 2D animation. Imagine looking looking at a bug, now take that bug, make a model of it for the Nintendo 64, and use that for the CG. That’s how bad it was and that’s why I thought it was so funny.

The story was like, someone shit on some paper and smeared it, then took the words Yamcha, Chi-Chi, Goku, Gohan, Bulma, and Piccolo to stick on the shit like it were glue. Yes, it is that bad. Goku is a high school character that everyone hates. He is a pervert that stares at Chi-Chi like a stalker, and her imagines her eating a strawberry in this weird sexual way. You never learn why they make fun of him, you just learn it’s because he is different. But even that isn’t clear of how he is different other than he can kick a guys ass without actually doing it. Well, for some unexplained reason, Piccolo comes back to life from this sealed pot of shit that Piccolo says was like hell. He searches for the Dragonballs while Goku does too without actually knowing the reason until sometime later. While on his journey, he meets Bulma who is still a bitch, and Yamcha who is this horribly done surfer guy. They fight shit and then some more shit. But, the one thing you never hear them say is, Saiyan. In fact, you don’t even hear them say Goku is an alien until later. Nothing is ever explained really, so if you never saw the anime or read the manga, nothing will make sense. And even then, it’s only small details that they use, the rest is basically made up.

Overall, it was a terrible movie considering how I like Dragonball and Dragonball Z. But, I enjoyed it because I made my self forget about the Dragonball name attached to it. As long as you block that thought, it is fun to watch.

My final score is going to be 2 separate scores.

Score of a person that likes Dragonball: 1/10

Score of a random person that never saw the source material: 6/10

So yeah, it’s fun, it’s horrible, and it didn’t make sense. But, as a movie to pull out if you are with friends looking for a laugh or if you do drugs, you may like it.

DB:Evolution Officially Sucks

dragon-ball-evolution-fToday, Anime News Network put their own review on the web and I got to read it. Here are some excerpts.

So now it’s 2000 years later and we’re introduced to scrappy young Goku, who is training at his grandfather Gohan’s ranch-temple-Karate dojo thing out in the country, and has trouble at high school because he’s so special and different (why his classmates think he’s different or weird, we are never told nor shown). After taking out some bullies (who menacingly call him “Geeko” over and over again, for no discernable reason, especially considering he looks and dresses exactly like them)

Master Roshi (sample dialogue: “Punk, prepare for your clock is going to be cleaned!”), the only person who knows Goku’s destiny and can train him not only to battle Piccolo, but to also assist in their quest to gently cup as many Dragonballs as possible. Along the way they run into obnoxious bandit Yamcha (sample dialogue: “Cheese and rice, my nads got scorched!”) who serves no purpose other than to deliver unfunny punchlines and become Bulma’s love interest 12 hours after meeting her.

Overall : F

Story : F
Music : C

+ Might be fun when you’re hammered and surrounded by friends. Or suicidal, and need something to push you over the edge.
Basically everything.

Sounds fantastic. Not really, buit I will go see it since it sounds pretty funny.

Full Review Link